Mother Guilt

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I rocked you to sleep.
Sometimes I wish the minutes away,
So I can go downstairs and wash the day away with a drink.
Sometimes I get angry.
And frustrated.
And immediately I feel regret.
And sadness.
Tonight I took a deep breath.
I breathed deeply into the tightness in my chest.
My jaw relaxed.
You fell asleep.
Suckling an invisible nipple.
Maybe dreaming of my breast.
Dreaming of me.
Your mom.
Your world.
You fell asleep.
With a smile on your face.
I am ashamed by my mindlessness.
I promise you, my sweet love,
I will try harder.

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